whyy??

lately i have became even more emotional that i have ever been before;;
prom is saturday and yes we are struggling with no money and then i have to worry about taking my military entrence test on tuesday after a 3 day weekend and then the fact that school is coming to an end for me and i still dont have everything ready i am starting to slack in school and since i missed four days for my grandpas funeral i cant exempt any of my semester exams so my senior year i have to take tests that i havent gotten ready for because i have major senioritis and have no motivation to do anything anymore because i hate my school and i have been through enough;;

i have been missing the fact that i cant just drive to my grandpa and say lets go fishing out on the boat and do all the things that we used to do and say i love you anymore;; the last words i heard from him to me was "I love you too" and it still gets to me more and more;;

with the school year winding down it makes me think about one of my best friends in the whole world and how the "Tarkington Curse" took two very good guys and one of them my steven and whyy must god take him away knowing that we all wanted him here and then i thought;; Maybe steven did all he needed to do and that was change alot of people;;

then years later i wish i still had my aunt here to help me get ready for my SENIOR prom and then watch me graduate along with my sister getting married;; a happy time for all of us but god needed my aunt and uncle more than i did becuase he needed someone to smile and brighten the day;;;

i love my life and my friends because if it wasnt for them i dont know where or what i would do right now or how i would keep moving forward without breaking down.;;



especially jessica (jleigh2011.blogspot.com) she has been there with me through everything;; and you dont understand what we have gone through to get here and i love that girl with all my might;;


Chelsie is another one that just puts a smile on my face just with anything she says and i know that she goes through so much to be so young but thats going to make her strong in the end;;


well i think im done venting for now i feel alot better : )

Forgotten

I have saw that i have been writing about Sam, and ive even brought up Justin and Kenneth but i havent said anything about my USMC brother Robert. he is one of the people who inspired me to join the military(or try anyways) because i have saw the person it has made him : ) i love the fact that i can call him my brother and hate that he is stationed so far away even though he just works on helicoptors i fear that something bad is going to happen. i am happy that he found a girl worth getitng married to and now they are fixing to start their own family.


This picture happens to be from my mom and step dads wedding. i have to say this is the only picture i have of us together so i cherish it with all my heart;;



Also along with the title "FORGOTTEN";; i cant believe that its been 12 years since ive started school;; and now my life is fixing to change paths as i hope to pursue my career as a future navy nurse;; things are taking its turn in my life and if the military is a no go for me i will start a new life somewhere else.

Friday Movie Nights

Last night me and my best friend Jessica went and got us some Taco Bell;;
As we were sitting there her car started smoking like crazy and we thought we were going to expload;; LOL
Then as were were sitting in block buster parking lot we were being stalked and then we went to walmart and got movies and then that same guy that was in the blockbuster parking lot was sitting outside of walmart down the same isle that we were parked so we ran to the car and then locked the doors.
After we got back to her house we crawled up on the couch with the three movies we rented and had us a girls night much needed after the long week we had. With the underclassmen taking the TAKS test and the seniors wasting their time getting up and going when there was nothing going on was crazy and then prom is next saturday and having to get the rest of my stuff and also finding out i have to go tuesday to take my military entrance test to see if i can get the score i need just to enlist and i have been studying like crazy since christmas;;
and then as we were watchin our movies i couldnt stop thinking about how samantha should be here with us laughing and crying and sharing in our special moments : )
i wonder what goes on over there where she is at and then i realize she is doing her duty being an active miliatry : ]
i am proud to say that i am a very happy girl and i love all my friends

having doubts

so here i sit thinkin;;

have i made the right decision.

my future career of a Navy Nurse is on the line

i have to make sure i can do this

i know i can

everything is happening so fast;;

asvab tuesday prom saturday.

graduation 18 days away :(

now i understand what people feel like when they dont know what to do;

my friends are behind me 100%

my parents think its the best thing for me.

but im gonna hate having to leave just for basic.

i wonder how Samantha did it;;

how she is sitting over there in Iraq.

it depresses me that it doesnt feel the same without her here.

she was my back bone : (

and now its gone

how is Kenneth over there in afganistan,

or how did Justin do all those tours and put himself in danger

and then i realize that if it wasnt for all those brave men and women where would our world be at this point and i am grateful to live here and have all those people fighting.

One day i hope i can say i am a member of the UNITED STATES MILITARY!