Lonely

Well lets see.
About a month ago I moved from Cleveland to Sheldon to get closer to my boyfriend and to find me a better job.
Well with my luck i havent found a job but the time I get to spend with Jesse is great!
As of Monday he went to a job in Orange where he works everyday all day :/ and that is something we are not used to. But i have got to see him he came monday and I went to his house last night.
What sucks is that I feel like i have lost all of my friends. I cant get up to Cleveland for my car likes to suck gas and with me not having a job it is hard to get money these days. I just wish I had some friends close to me that would come visit with me!
Sooner or Later I'll get up to Cleveland

Death : /

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
That had to be one of the hardest times of my life,
as it was the day that my great great grandma died.
It also marked exactly 7 months since my great grandpa died from lung cancer.
But even though it was death she lived to be 101 6 months 17 dyas and 1:15 minutes.
Its been hard on me because I just dont know what to do anymore.
I feel like I have let my family down being outta High School and not sure what I am going to do with my life.
I just sit around the house, looking for a job, and then cooking them dinner before my grandma comes home.
I love my family and just want to please them.
It hurts knowing 8 years ago my aunt and uncle were killed but 14 years ago my little sister Paige was taken away from this earth.






Aside from all that my life couldnt be any better in love<3
Jesse has to be my soul mate for no matter how mad he makes me,
I just love him!!
His smile, His dimples!



The laugh when I say "Pack Pack" or even when I just look at him and smile!
He is fixing to leave for a job in Orange :( and will be gone till Christmas.
Even though i can just drive to him it doesnt make a difference.
The feeling of him being so far away and not in my arms.

But once he gets back hes getting a truck!
Then a house!!
But im gonna go!!

MUCH LOVE!! <3

Wow!

Yes. i must say that i have not posted in forever but there is a reason.
after graduation i went to visit my dad in Louisiana and spent two weeks there. But missing texas made me come home two weeks early and then I started looking for a job. My only summer left and I had to work. Dont get me wrong the money was about the only good thing coming for me.

Then my sister got married and we were all going crazy trying to get everything ready for her special day i lost touch with alot of things. The wedding was great i might add : ) I am glad that she found someone that is EXACTLY like her : )

Then i got my job back at arbys and that made me lose touch with my best friend jessica king : ( even though she worked at the exact same place! But there was just so much going on at home after the wedding it caused me some pain.

My mom put in to get transfered to Baytown and that caused my step dad to freak out and then he put in for divorce so we have been dealing with that and as well as me finding a job there and then a house were we could have our dogs without it being a problem for the dogs are like our family!

Then me, my boyfriend, my mom, my sister, and my brother in law all went on a vacation to Brady Texas to visit some family we havent seen in years. We were there for four days but with a conflict of work my sister and brother in law didnt make it up there till saturday. But the time spent there was like amazing to get out of Cleveland Texas and try something new.

I lost my job/quit my job going to Brady so i moved down to Sheldon Texas to be closer to my friends and Boyfriend Jesse and find me a job for when we get our own house but i have had no luck with that. And then there is the fact that he leaves Monday for THREE months to Orange Texas where i wont get to see him EVERYDAY like i do now. So how am i going to keep from going insane? Hopefully my friends will always be there!

Well i guess i am done for now!

been a while

well i just graduated high school so ive been trying to figure out what to do now;; i have been worried about my asvab and not having enough time to study but now i have decided to wait until i turn 18 and have 3 months to study;;

and then i have to deal with the fact that my best friend sam is still over in iraq and i cant be there with her and help her with her relationship : ) i miss the way things used to be around here and then to top it off i have to deal with the fact that i dont know what is going to happen in my life later on

i really hope that i get to join and make it through to help with my country and everything

whyy??

lately i have became even more emotional that i have ever been before;;
prom is saturday and yes we are struggling with no money and then i have to worry about taking my military entrence test on tuesday after a 3 day weekend and then the fact that school is coming to an end for me and i still dont have everything ready i am starting to slack in school and since i missed four days for my grandpas funeral i cant exempt any of my semester exams so my senior year i have to take tests that i havent gotten ready for because i have major senioritis and have no motivation to do anything anymore because i hate my school and i have been through enough;;

i have been missing the fact that i cant just drive to my grandpa and say lets go fishing out on the boat and do all the things that we used to do and say i love you anymore;; the last words i heard from him to me was "I love you too" and it still gets to me more and more;;

with the school year winding down it makes me think about one of my best friends in the whole world and how the "Tarkington Curse" took two very good guys and one of them my steven and whyy must god take him away knowing that we all wanted him here and then i thought;; Maybe steven did all he needed to do and that was change alot of people;;

then years later i wish i still had my aunt here to help me get ready for my SENIOR prom and then watch me graduate along with my sister getting married;; a happy time for all of us but god needed my aunt and uncle more than i did becuase he needed someone to smile and brighten the day;;;

i love my life and my friends because if it wasnt for them i dont know where or what i would do right now or how i would keep moving forward without breaking down.;;



especially jessica (jleigh2011.blogspot.com) she has been there with me through everything;; and you dont understand what we have gone through to get here and i love that girl with all my might;;


Chelsie is another one that just puts a smile on my face just with anything she says and i know that she goes through so much to be so young but thats going to make her strong in the end;;


well i think im done venting for now i feel alot better : )

Forgotten

I have saw that i have been writing about Sam, and ive even brought up Justin and Kenneth but i havent said anything about my USMC brother Robert. he is one of the people who inspired me to join the military(or try anyways) because i have saw the person it has made him : ) i love the fact that i can call him my brother and hate that he is stationed so far away even though he just works on helicoptors i fear that something bad is going to happen. i am happy that he found a girl worth getitng married to and now they are fixing to start their own family.


This picture happens to be from my mom and step dads wedding. i have to say this is the only picture i have of us together so i cherish it with all my heart;;



Also along with the title "FORGOTTEN";; i cant believe that its been 12 years since ive started school;; and now my life is fixing to change paths as i hope to pursue my career as a future navy nurse;; things are taking its turn in my life and if the military is a no go for me i will start a new life somewhere else.

Friday Movie Nights

Last night me and my best friend Jessica went and got us some Taco Bell;;
As we were sitting there her car started smoking like crazy and we thought we were going to expload;; LOL
Then as were were sitting in block buster parking lot we were being stalked and then we went to walmart and got movies and then that same guy that was in the blockbuster parking lot was sitting outside of walmart down the same isle that we were parked so we ran to the car and then locked the doors.
After we got back to her house we crawled up on the couch with the three movies we rented and had us a girls night much needed after the long week we had. With the underclassmen taking the TAKS test and the seniors wasting their time getting up and going when there was nothing going on was crazy and then prom is next saturday and having to get the rest of my stuff and also finding out i have to go tuesday to take my military entrance test to see if i can get the score i need just to enlist and i have been studying like crazy since christmas;;
and then as we were watchin our movies i couldnt stop thinking about how samantha should be here with us laughing and crying and sharing in our special moments : )
i wonder what goes on over there where she is at and then i realize she is doing her duty being an active miliatry : ]
i am proud to say that i am a very happy girl and i love all my friends